Series 1: Learning to Love - 23/365

I spent this morning crying and doing EFT. I hate the way I look. I always have done, ever since I was about 6. My hair is too puffy for my face. My nose is off center and since I broke it is wonky and wide in the middle. My eyes are a weird shape. I had horrible, uneven teeth, now I have horrible, unsightly braces. As you can tell by that description I'm not too peachy keen on myself. I was fed up of it this morning. I sometimes tug at my hair, half willing it to all come tumbling out in my hand so I wouldn't have to deal with looking at the horrible, puffy mess that I hate so much. I sometimes slap my face as a punishment for it looking so horrible. I don't want to do this but I can't help it.
I hate looking in the mirror.
Today I was trying to tap on a problem but I couldn't bring myself to tell me I accepted myself. And I realised it was because I didn't accept myself, I hated what I saw when I looked in the mirror. So I changed what I was tapping on. And I tapped on my self hatred for an hour. I cried a lot and it took me about 10 rounds to tell myself I accepted myself.
And then I stood in front of my upstairs mirror and just stared at myself telling myself what I hated and why I hated it, and what I could do to change it. I figured that even if I did change it if I didn't tap anyway I'd still hate it. So I continued doing it until I calmed down and stopped sobbing.
I then decided for 5 days I will take a photo of everything I don't like about myself for my 365, and not make the picture perfect. I wouldn't delete the first one if it wasn't quite right, I'd use it anyway. I'd learn to love the things I hated.

So the first one? My braces. And I guess my face as well because I don't really like the look of that too much in that photo either.
Good things about braces: My teeth will be straight, even though I'll need loads of fillings afterwards.

Taken: Sunday 12th October 2008. Day 23.