Negative Self Image/Envying Others

Unfortunately I don't know the source of this image, it's saved in my Inspiring Images folder.

Note: If you're of the male gender and reading this then it still applies, just edit it in your head to work for you.

How many times have you caught yourself looking at someone and thinking "they're pretty..if I looked more like them maybe so-and-so would like me more" or "I don't like how I look but I like how they look. maybe if I dress like them I'll like myself more"? Or if not either of those then something along those lines, aye? I would presume that it is quite a few times, and if you've ever been a sufferer of low self esteem then it will most likely have been many more than 'a few'.

But why do we think this? Because we're not satisfied with ourselves and so we're jealous of their lifestyle/looks/success. Jealousy can be useful as it teaches us what we would like to be more like but when it gets to a point where you find yourself hating yourself even just a little bit you know it's taken it too far.

You might look up to someone. Someone in a band, a comedian, a friend or even just someone who you sometimes see on the bus. "Oo their hair is amazing! They have brilliant style. They're so popular! Look at their shoes. They have a really nice voice. They seem so relaxed with themselves! I wish I was one of them.." and the next thing you know you're trying to be exactly like them. You have a hair style which doesn't suit you because they have that hairstyle for example. With most people this is someone who is mainstream but some people strive to be unusual. People tend to think these people are themselves but often they aren't because they're trying so hard to not be like everyone else that they're not themselves either.

"I can't explain myself because I'm not myself, you see?"

Okay so this is getting into rambling mode..let me explain what I'm really trying to say.



So few people are happy with themselves and what they're wearing and it's normally because of others, not themselves. Whether it's because they're trying to fit in or trying not to fit in they're not happy. By trying to fit in they're giving in to the trends just like everyone else and by trying not to fit in they're making themselves look ridiculous. What was going through your mind when you bought a neon yellow hat? Yes it's a pretty good idea but to be honest does neon yellow really compliment many peoples skin? No, not really.

However, it is very hard to be 'yourself' in todays environment because of the media pelting thoughts at you from every direction.

WEAR THIS IT WILL MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU! but it's ugly..

EAT THIS IT WILL MAKE YOU THIN! but it tastes awful..

BUY THIS IT IS THE BEST...EVER! but I prefer that one..

At the speed life goes at it is hard to listen to your little inner voice. Whilst you're walking around H&M you might find yourself thinking 'what would so-and-so buy?' not 'what do I like?'. When you're listening to music you might stop listening to what you're enjoying because that person on the bus likes something else and you know that the person on the bus would think you're really awesome if you had the stuff they liked on your iPod. Heck, you might even do it with people you know you have no chance of being friends with!
'I like these shoes but I'm gonna buy these shoes because I think I will only have any chance whatsoever of being friends with Rihanna if I buy these!'
'I don't like this kitsch jewellery on me but it looks fabulous on Audrey Kitching and she's really cool..maybe I should wear it just in case she happens to be walking around Swansea later'.

It seems simple in theory, to stop it. But it isn't, oh no. You admire someone SO MUCH that what they like just rubs off on you, or their thoughts just rub off on you. Maybe they have a way with words that you wish you had because everybody seems to like it. You might forget about that and be yourself a bit and then you'll suddenly remember it for no reason and pick up that way of speaking they've adopted so well..oops! You've just fallen back into the trap.

It can take years to stop wanting to be someone else, dressing a certain way to impress someone else, acting a certain way to fit in and so on, so forth. Decades if you're an unlucky soul. But it's worth it, I'm sure.

I don't even do it myself! There are a range of people who I think are just totally amazing and I'm in awe of and I accidentally end up find myself trying to find stuff I think they would like when I'm out shopping, or I find myself walking the same way as them or talking in the same accent. I wish I didn't but as soon as I see that person, or think of that person then it just comes back into my head. The feeling that I'm not as good as them and I get upset because they are so much cooler than me and because they are so totally themselves.

How can you rectify it and not feel this? Well ultimately you have to be totally comfortable with yourself. You have to love and accept yourself and they way you look. You have to find a style of dress that you like (no, don't go stereotypes!), you have to learn to like the way you talk and they way you walk. If you don't like it then change it - but not so that it's like someone elses! So that it's a way you like it. When you're at school this could be a bit difficult because often career is another part of it so you're not going to be satisfied with your career...'cause you don't have one.

Chuck away those hoop earring that make your ears look massive! Go! Flee and throw them in the bin, now! Get a marker pen and draw on your really expensive but extremely boring and ugly adidas trainers as soon as possible. Stick your tongue out at people who laugh at you. Stop thinking people are better than you and go try your hardest to stop being everyone else.

Please?

For me?

Here, I'll give you a pact.

I'll stop trying to be like the people I try to be like and I will start dressing in things I like the look of if you do too! Promise! But you have to as well.

Kisses

Katiiiiiiii!

P.S: I have no clue if any of that made any sense. I should learn to structure things better but I'm annoyed at feeling like I'm being a duplicate, or wanting to be a duplicate and stuff. GOOD LUCK.